I thought that I would start something like a diary (or blog for those computer geeks out there), to help everyone in keeping up on the activities here in Hesston, Harrisburg, Indiana and with my mom's situation.
This way I can update the website faster and can give everyone up to the minute reports. (Watch out Katie Couric of the evening news! I could have your seat next!)
I will attach pictures, when time allows, but will keep them as a thumbnail - so you will not be able to enlarge them at all.
I am reversing the order of my log entries.. the most recent entry will be on top.. It'll save a time from scrolling or book-marking to the bottom of the page..OK?
4/13/2008 Sunday - Well, I can see that it sure has been a long time since I updated this blog. Well, alot has happened since then.
6/3/2007 Sunday - Well, the ravings of a lunatic menopausal woman have subsided thanks to the saving grace from a couple of dear friends. Another mid life crisis avoided. I am sure there will be more.
My mom is doing good. She is still very happy at Blair and even tries to tell the others that are not so sure. It is truly amazing. I am finally over the Workers Compensation Bureau Conference. I will not be a speaker again. Five years is enough. It is eight long months of work. Time to let someone else take over. I am gonna try to simplify my life...harp, hubby, friends and pets. That sounds like about all I want or need to handle. Amy is doing ok - she has diabetes and we are trying to get her insulin levels straightened out. She is a brave old girl and takes her shots like a real trooper. Mr. Tom still comes to the back porch for a hand-out, but with the nice weather he is not visiting quite as much. Lemon Drop, Buster and Mandy have races around the house every morning; naps in the afternoon and 'fuffing' at night. (fuffing is the name for scratches and tummy rubs that makes their fur fly!) And at times I catch them hugging or licking each other. So, I am gonna go practice some. Just thought that I better update my website.. I put some new pix on "this week in Hesston".
4/30/2007 Monday afternoon - I had to go to Pittsburgh this morning for a hearing. On the way back I stopped to see mom since I didn't have a chance to stop up this weekend. Well, I wondered how long it would take for her to revert back to her former self. I arrived to take her out to lunch and she indicated that she wanted to have liver and onions there. Ok by me. But then the glares started and again and a mention of being a detective. She said that she was on limbo and said something about going home. Thank goodness lunch was served. She simply walked away from me without saying good-bye. I yelled good by with no response. She told me that she raided the kitchen for coffee and that people where steeling stuff from her. Granted, her room-mate states that alot. I hope it is not true - but they are both very forgetful. I just can't seem to do enough for anyone anymore to make them happy.
4/29/07 Sunday evening - Mayfest was alot of fun. It was a nice day to sit and watch the folks. Judy and I walked in the parade and our outfits prompted folks to stop and talk. We bought some wonderful pottery. Roger and I are suckers for that stuff. Dad is doing better after his surgery. I have been working ad nauseum it seems like. I have a feeling that the sale of mom's house is going to fall thru. If the financing for the buyer does not come thru by next week, I am going to put the house back on the market. Tomorrow I go to Greensburg to testify in a hearing a 9 AM so I will have to be on the road at 0'dark:30. I will stop and see mom on the way home since we didn't get a chance to go up this weekend. I am really tired and think that I will just vegetate for the rest of the evening. I just wanted to update the website with pix from the Mayfest. I am looking forward to seeing Cassandra and Carole next weekend. ..I am not sure if they are staying overnight or not. No matter - it will just be nice to visit awhile.
I have updated my This Week in Hesston page with the pix if you wanna see them.
4/22/07 Sunday Night - Sue came in this weekend. Dad has surgery on Wednesday and he is taking a big longer to recover which is to be expected from major surgery at his age. Hopefully things will go better for him. Mom's birthday is today. We took her out for breakfast and made a cake. We were supposed to bring her down to my house for dinner but Roger got really sick and has been down all day. He is in bed and still not doing well. If he does not get better, there is a trip to the hospital in the near future.
I am deeply saddened by the passing of Princess and Will. Two wonderful companions who had the best mom's that anyone could have. I wonder why we have pets when their passing is so painful. But I find, especially today, that sometimes it is my furry family that is the only thing that helps me to make it thru the day. In fact, Lemon Drop is watching Roger right now - making sure that he is ok.
They will
not go quietly,
the pets who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think
we hear them at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And , sometimes, coming home at night
we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends.
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them......
and always will.
My days are growing more and more weary. I wonder if anyone cares in the world anymore. Does anyone even care that I do this website and this blog? It is funny. I started this to keep my family up to date and closer. My family doesn't even read it. Maybe it is just to help me get through my own battles. Maybe it doesn't matter anyway.
4/14/05 - Saturday night. We just came home from visiting mom. She seems very contented there still. We brought here something from her house and a pair of slacks that I took from her house and she acted like she never saw these things before. The wood carving of her name was in her living room. She was amazed that we found something like that with her name on it. They called for supper and she was off and running. Verna, her room-mate, and her were watching TV together singing old time gospel songs. So I sat down and started to sing along. Verna is really nice. They seem to get along well. But it is just sad to see the toll that time takes on us. At least she is warm and fed and content. It reminds me of words to a song: "The leaves are gone, but the tree still stands."
I had my second harp lesson last night. My teacher, Shawn Ruby Drain, is a real gem. We are one with music and the lesson flies by. Her husband is a harp maker and I am thinking of having him make me one. I have "found myself" again with this new undertaking. It seems that my music got away from me. I pick up my guitars now and again and play. .. Or the dulcimer, but something just wasn't clicking. I have tried other hobbies ~ and I still did not feel connected. Picking up the harp and taking lessons have been an eye opening experience into myself. I find myself in deep reflection thinking of the music before I get to my instrument. I have hope and expectations to be a good harpist - if only for myself. I lose myself in my practice and my finger exercises. After my lessons, I am so excited on what I have learned that I want to hold my harp and try to make it sing like Shawn can make her harp sing.
Shawn and her husband, David, live in an old farmhouse with a shaggy cat. There is a one room school house where David makes his masterpieces. The home is filled with joy and love and music. Roger usually comes with and he is welcomed into their house as I have a lesson. I always wanted to play since I was a very small girl. I wish that I would have taken this step many years ago.
Anyway, Amy-cat has to get a glucose level done on Monday. Poor thing. I feel so bad for her. She seems to be doing better with the change in food. The fuzz-butts are not really happy about it, but it is better for all of them. I hope that I can get her blood sugar leveled out. I need to have her around for along time.
Judy and I are getting ready to take part in this year's Mayfest on April 28 (don't ask.....) She is selling antiques and I my photography. We are setting up in the 'Victorian' section, so we will be dressed appropriately. Don't worry - there will be pictures on the website.
Dad is having some surgery on Wednesday. I will be in town for settlement on mom's house that day and will be checking in on him. Then I am off to Maryland for awhile for a seminar. This weekend I am working my tush-y off on the Bureau presentation. So I better sign off now.
4/8/07 - Easter Sunday. Went to see mom on Friday and again this morning. She looks good, maybe e a little bit 'removed' - but perhaps she is distracted by the TV. We went to Lisa's house for dinner and it is always a warm friendly place. We don't see them near enough. Amy went to the vet and the bad news is that she has diabetes. Her sugar was 500. I bought some diabetic food for her and really have to change the eating habits of the whole household. (as if Lemon Drop wouldn't need a change of diet, eh?) So in reading a bunch of stuff on the internet on feline DM and talking with our own vet... it lead me to find that dry kibble is the worst thing that you can give your cat. WELL - that didn't sit well with me since all I feed them in dry kibble.. Upon finding the nutritional information of pet foods, well, I was amazed. The expensive, specially made food just for cats with diabetes has more of the bad stuff (carbs) than some of the everyday wet food. So, we are now on a new feeding regime that should help ALL the fuzz-butts and not just Amy .. LD should be losing a pound or two hopefully.
I am getting ready for this year's Pennsylvania Workers' Compensation Conference. Every year I say that I am not going to do it again, and every year .. well, I do it again. It is soooo much work. I should be working on my powerpoint presentation instead in doing this blog.
And, Judy and I have entered the local festival called Mayfest. She is going to sell antiques and I will be selling photo's. I am gonna put some photos and quotations together. I hope it turns out nice. We really don't expect to sell much, but we just wanna have a good time. Our guys are gonna help set up and take down. Cheap labor.
Hopefully, settlement on mom's house will be this week. It is hard seeing the changes. Dad leaving his home and now mom's house. I can't dwell on it too much. "These woods are lovely dark and deep. But I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. ...and miles to go before I sleep."
2/18/07 ~ Sunday morning: 9:30: Just got a call from the doctor at York Hospital. Mom is doing well. Her blood pressure is down. She wants to get off the floor that she is on and the doctor told her that she is going back to the first place that she was at (the psych ward). She was very happy at that. She had her purse and was trying to leave. She will be transferred back to the psych unit today or tomorrow. She will not be going back to D unit as it is quarantined due to a flu bug or something, so she will be in C unit. I will be talking to the social worker about further arrangements for mom. And heck, I have her clean undies here with me and I gotta get them to her. What is a girl gonna do without clean undies????!!
Here in Hesston, we have alot of snow on the ground. We have been taking good care of the outside critters much to the delight of the fuzz~butt gang. Poor little Buster almost whacks his head on the sliding glass door in an effort to pounce on a near-by squirrel. Of course, Roger doesn't help the situation as he is putting corn and nuts right next to the window. I should tape the activity and start my own network called Cat TV!!
2/18/07 4:09 ~ Talked with mom on the phone. Sue talked with her earlier today and she pretty much said that same stuff to me as she said to Sue. I think that her slurred words are because she has no teeth and it is more prominent on the phone than it is when we are face to face. Mom confirmed what she said to Sue that there was a woman that 'came on' to her last night and mom fought her off. The young woman stood in the doorway with her hair down. Mom told me that Sue and I could wait awhile before we came to get her since the weather was bad. She just kept saying that things 'are alright now'. She said that Sue and I can come down after a week and take her back home. And that Sue will be getting her money and taxes from 'the chest' .. meaning the safe. I told her that Sue and I cannot get her until the doctor's release her so she asked if we can hurry it along. She repeated over and over telling me to stay off the roads and finally she said, 'I love you' and hung up. She was a bit combative overnight and her mood sounded like the Ativan kicked in!! She is happy at the moment! Ya gotta love pharmaceuticals, eh?
My plan of action is changing. I am going to see if she can be transferred to the psych ward up here and then I can work with a local social worker to get her into a local nursing home. I found that J. C. Blair and Altoona Regional Hospitals all have inpatient psych wards. I am hoping that this will work out better since the SW at York Hospital does not work with the nursing homes in Huntingdon and Blair County.
2/19/07 Monday- Sue spoke with mom this morning. She wouldn't answer her phone but after several calls to the nurse's station, mom finally answered. Nothing out of the ordinary in that phone call.
I spoke with the social worker today and faxed her information on the hospitals and nursing homes here in my area. She indicated that it would be hard to get mom transferred from an in-patient there to an in-patient here...but then she said that she would make a few phone calls. I called the Huntingdon Aging Agency today and left a message. (closed Presidents Day). I went to Huntingdon Manor Nursing home just now. It isn't a bad place - more like a hospital setting - but the woman said that if anyone is an in-patient at J.C. Blair Hospital for 3 days or more, they automatically qualify to stay there!! And if their level of needs is less that a full blown nursing home, Huntingdon Manor will help to place them elsewhere! WELL! I am a woman with a plan, now. So I called the social worker and left a message about his. If they transferred her out as an in-patient - that would get them off the hook to find her placement outside of York County. (You see, it seems that one county agency does not converse with another county agency.. YIKES!! I really have my work cut out for me on this maneuver.)
Anyway, I called mom just now and asked her how her day went. She said that she took allot of pills and watched some TV. There was no delusional talk. I told her that I washed her clothes and that I would be down to see her on Thursday. She asked me to bring her hat and coat so that she would have it when I took her on Thursday. I told her that I cannot take her without the doctor's saying that it is ok. Then I told her that I was working on getting her "in up here". She sounded like this was a good thing, but then she mumbled something referencing a great escape type of scenario. (PS - Sue I think you were right about the call yesterday and mom slurring her words. Today it did not sound that way as much. I think it was the Ativan that they gave her after having a tough night.)
Onto other news, the weather got much warmer today. It actually got all the way up to 40!! Although when we got home from Huntingdon Manor, the cats were begging to have the fireplace on, so we had to comply with their wishes. Mandy is feeling much better day after day. Her incision is healing nicely - which is amazing for all the gymnastics that she has been doing.
Four Cats at the fireplace
2/20/2007 - Tuesday. One step forward and two steps backwards. I had such high spirits at noon after talking with Huntingdon Area Agency on Aging (AAA) and even got a hold of my attorney here. The Huntington AAA called York AAA and got some additional information and called me back with some ideas of what to do. Then it went downhill quickly. I could not use my attorney and had to hire an attorney in York county where Mom resides.. Got some references from an attorney friend of mine and made the call. So I have a new attorney for York County.
Then I get a call from someone called Sara at the York AAA stating that she will be doing a level of needs assessment and was asking about mom's income. Based on her income on the phone she told me that she did not need to do an level of need. HUH? You can tell what a person needs just by their income, I asked her? Then I started to tell her about mom's condition and she said, well, I guess I better look at the file. Sigh.... She was asking me questions and hinted that I should be there but she really didn't need me and I continued to talk about mom's problems. Finally I said - tell me the truth, you do need me there don't you and I DO HAVE INFORMATION that is appears that you need. She indicated that I should be there. So I am on the road to York tomorrow. (Can you hear the Willie Nelson song in the background "on the road again".. )
I call Sara back tonight as I don't think that the doctor has even done an evaluation yet, so why do this assessment. She said that she did have a doctor's report there. Hmmmm, it appears that the doctor is not calling me. Guess I have to leave even more messages with him. Grrrr.
So as it stands, I am not sure if we can get mom to a place here in Huntingdon, just now - as it appears that crossing county lines is forbidden with this involuntary committal unless a judge orders it.. (yes, this is going to be part of my petition as well as petitioning to sale her home.) Maybe if mom agrees to be placed in Huntingdon, then I can go forward finding a place here. Then again, maybe not. Then again, this could all change tomorrow. (Can you hear the David Bowie song in the background "ch-ch-ch-ch- changes"..) Anyway I am flexible and a persistent SOB and I will prevail on this. Maybe I should write a book. Maybe I already have started it. Anyway, stay tuned for the continuing saga. I gotta go get ready for this meeting tomorrow.
2/21/07 Wednesday ~ I got home late tonight. A very lot happened today. I will update this blog tomorrow night when I get home from work.
2/22/07 Thursday ~ Ok, sorry for the delay. Just when I think that I have walked thru Hell and have come out from the other side, the gates open up one more time! I got a call on Tuesday from yet a different woman at the York AAA asking questions about mom and that she would be doing the level of care assessment. She asked about her income and that she qualified for the level entitled: personal care.. ok ok I know I stated this part already... So instead of making arrangements for me and her and mom to get together, I was supposed to be there the very next day. (My thanks for Frank and MBG for being so flexible on my work schedule.)
Before I left work to go to the hospital, I spoke with the social worker. We agreed that I should discuss getting Power of Attorney from my mom as that would be alot easier. The SW stated that (and I quote) that the guardianship would be the suggested route to go "in the long run". The SW and I even talked about a strategy to use on mom to have her give me the POA. I told her that I would be down there a little before the 2 O'clock meeting to see what we could work out with mom.
I left early only to find route 83 was closed, so I had to snake my way around to finally get to the hospital. When I got there, mom was rather lucid and (without any input from me!) said that she wanted to move to Huntingdon, wanted me to help her sell her house; that is was time that she did all this. She made some mistakes by not keeping her house up. But stated over and over that it was time that all this took place. OK, deep breath. I decided that I would tell mom straight out about the guardianship and POA. (Keep in mind that she refused the POA to me while we were in the ER.) I explained that the doctor said that she needed help in making her decisions and that Sue and I discussed that since I lived closer, that I would do the guardianship. ( I was real careful not to say that I would be her guardian.. I wanted to make sure that she knew that I was there to help her make decisions and that I would not make them myself.)
I indicated that maybe we can do the POA until the guardianship when though, that way I can start on selling her house etc. right away. She agreed! Just about that time the SW stopped by (I had left her a note that I was on the floor talking with mom.) I told her about the fact that mom would do a POA until the guardianship went thru. But I told the SW that I did not know if that was possible (legally) but I would check with the attorney. The SW agreed and stated they thought the guardianship indeed would be the best way to go. I called the attorney and left a voice mail message asking this very question.
We have the level of care assessment, and the woman really didn't dig in very much on clarifying with mom or me what she needed. (Although mom needs a guardian and cannot make decisions on her own, mom was allowed to answer questions on bathing etc. on her own.) I was not asked what mom needed. The woman already had the paperwork completed for the 'personal care' level. And since she is "not capable of making her own decisions", I was asked to sign all the paperwork. But she was capable of answering the questions that this woman asked. Gosh, it seems that they use this work capable to their liking!)
I told mom that I had to leave to see the attorney so that I could get the POA started and to get her out of the hospital and into a nice home.
(Side note: Mom told me that she wanted a nice place like the hotel she was currently in (hospital) but less restrictive. She said this WAY before I even mentioned it. She said that she trusted me. I told her about the POA and that I would do it only to help her. Then I told her what was going on since she was in there and all that we were doing to help her. I showed her my locked briefcase of all her important papers neatly filed in color coded file folders and let her know that I have been paying her phone bill for the last 7 years behind her back because I knew she needed the extra money. Well - mom started to cry. She grabbed me and told me how much she loved me. And the tears ran down both our cheeks. The mother that I had lost, finally was there. And then during the level of assessment meeting, mom and I were sitting on a sofa together. The woman was talking and mom reached down and grabbed my hand tight and said that Lynda was going to take her to Huntingdon where it is so beautiful. I looked over at mom and there were more tears running down her face.)
As I was leaving the hospital, my cell phone rang. It was my attorney who said that she was on her way over to the hospital with the POA papers; that I should stay there. So I turned around and went to the gift shop. Bought mom a ton of magazines and candy and went back to her room. The attorney stated that she had to call the SW as protocol demanded before she came to the unit. As I went into the unit, I also informed the nurses station that an attorney would be coming.
Mom and I waited and watched TV. Mom kept a close watch for the attorney to come. After about 15 minutes my cell phone rang and it was York AAA. She was frantic and almost screaming about what is going on? Mom is not capable of signing any papers. When did this all take place? What wasn't she informed? I told her that I already discussed this a couple of times with the SW who was aware. York AAA told me that the SW is young and does not know. I explained that I was unaware and that I would call the attorney not to come. As soon as I hang up, the phone at the nurses desk rang and it was the SW for me. The SW told me that she told me not to do the POA and that I must go though the guardianship. I reminded her of our conversation and she was adamant that she never said any of (the above) to me. I apologized and said that I also just spoke with York AAA and that the attorney had already left. I would tell the attorney when she got there about the new revelation.
In walks the attorney. I catch her and get mom and we all go to mom's room. The attorney advises me and mom that the POA is fine. That this is a legal decision and not a medical decision on if she is or is/not capable of signed the POA. I went around and around with the attorney (and her paralegal/notary) about the ramifications of sounds mind and body, she is on medication etc. etc. etc. I was assured by the attorney that this was a legal decision and not a medical decision on mom's capability to sign the POA. So then we all explained to mom about the POA and what that meant. And how it would allow me to help her. I made sure that we went over that over and over and over and over. Mom said that she understood and that she wanted to do this. Finally I said, Mom - do you realize that if you sign this form, I could actually sign all your checks, take all your money and leave the country!!!!! The paralegal jumped me and said - yes you could but we could prosecute you because you are part of the POA to HELP your mom. (God bless the paralegal - she answered the statement just the way I was hoping.) Mom agreed. The attorney sat on the bed and explained to mom the paperwork and mom signed the paperwork while the paralegal and I chatted.
Then the gates of Hell opened. A woman came to the door - mad - asking for the attorney to leave and that mom could not sign anything! The attorney stood her ground and a heated argument ensued. The attorney and paralegal handled everything professionally. As for the hospital woman, this was a different story. In front of my mother, she made a scene (ok, remember we are in psych ward and my mother is paranoid delusional) which fed right into the psychosis being suffered by my mom and then screamed something to the effect that mom is involuntarily committed to the psych ward and that they had not right to be there. Well, if that didn't dehumanize mom, I don't know what could have. Meanwhile the paralegal is on the phone making calls to get this straightened out. The doctor could not be reached, so the attorney compromised and gave the paperwork over until both sides could talk. So the hospital strong armed these two women. Eight guards escorted the attorney and paralegal not only off the floor, but stayed with them until they got onto the shuttle in the parking lot.
Grrr, I stayed with mom a little while longer and assured her that I would still work on finding her a nice place. But I had to go meet with the attorney. I promised to call her when I made some discoveries of a nice place for her to go.
I met with the attorney later and we are still working on the situation.
That brings us up to today 2/22/07 and I started to find a place for mom. I first called the Huntingdon AAA (they are so nice and sent me places for mom in the mail which I received one day after talking with them) and asked for some direction on how to handle looking for a place and what I needed. They thoroughly told me what to do so I picked up the phone and started to call and leave messages etc. I called a place back only to find that someone else had already called there about my mom!!! HUH??? Who? Someone from York Hospital. Grrrr.. the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing. The lady that did the needs assessment told me that I can start looking for a place for mom, even before I got her report. So I called the SW and left a message stating that I am calling places and someone else is calling the same places and that there HAS to be some communication and I don't know if it is her and I need her to call me back ASAP.. breathe in .. breathe out. Then I called York AAA and pretty much said the same thing. Well, the SW called back and told me just to go forward and she would not continue to make calls. As for York AAA? They never called back, as usual. This is the same for the doctor who has NEVER called me either. Ok, I digress....
With that out of the way, I visited a wonderful place called the Blair Christian Home If you click on the link below , it will send you to a page that has some pictures that Roger took on our tour this evening. Mom's income qualifies her for this home. I was impressed: 24 hour on site nurses; medications are all dispensed; nice rooms; Everyone smiles - the staff AND the residents; Pets, birds, activities, help with showers, fireplace .. I can go on and on. I promised to call mom after I left and told her how nice it was .. (there was an available room that had a view of a deer lick!! With DEER) But I told mom that I wanted to look at another place to compare it to. I would do that tomorrow and then call mom and let her decided. Mom is supposed to be discharged late next week and I want her to come directly to her new home.
So, this is getting long and I want to get this published to the internet. Mom is good while she is on her medicine and this place will make sure that she takes it. I like this place allot. It is clean and smells wonderful. They even have their own ice cream parlor. Hmm, ice cream!! Mom might be seeing way too much of me if there is ice cream there!
Click here to see Blair Christian Home
2/23/07 ~ Friday. My mission today is to find a retirement home. I want to see some others to compare to Blair. Little did I know that Hell would open it's gates to me yet again.
I visited Morrison Cove - It was not very nice. The only views were to the road or a cemetery. No showers or baths. One bath for an entire wing! It smelled funny. The staff was rolling their eyes behind the backs of the residents..that is if you could find any residents. Enough said about that
We visited Homewood. Beautiful! But the level of care that mom needed was between their apartments or the nursing home side of it. (but Roger and I are keeping it in mind for ourselves for retirement!)
So off to Blair Christian Home again to start the paperwork for mom to get her there. (that experience once again was wonderful) While there, Dr. S called at 5:19.
He started the conversation by saying that the nurses station said that I wanted to talk with him…… pause….. I told him yes, I wanted to know what was going on with mom.. the conversation was a little bit confusing at this point but it was centered around asking why. I finally explained that I really didn’t know what was going on. I haven’t talked to him about mom and needed to find out what was going on and his answer was…and I quote…”didn’t I talk with you when she was admitted?” (WHAT? That was on February 9th.. today is February 23rd!! I have left many messages for him and he never has called me back.)
He told me that she was doing better on her medicines and talked some about her paranoia and prophecies. I told him that his call was timely as I was at the home that I wanted her to live in. I mentioned the form needed to get this move started and he said that she didn’t need it if she was a self pay and then he continued to talk a lot about financing and funding to pay for her living expenses yada yada yada. I didn’t need to know more about her financial information from him, I simply wanted a medical update from him.
The home administrator told me while I was talking with him that yes, they do need this form. So I proceeded to push this issue. He said that Dr. R would be the one to fill it out.. I asked him who Dr. R was. “HER MEDICAL DOCTOR!”, he said in a shocking tone of voice. I told him that I had no idea that there was another doctor involved. Dr. S said that he ( Dr. R.) would fill out the form. I asked how long that would take and he laughed and said ‘5 minutes. I asked him how to spell that doctor’s name.. and I asked the first name of Dr. R. He answered as if I was an idiot. I asked for Dr. R’s phone number so that I could contact him. Dr. S said that he didn’t have one that I could contact him thru the nurse’s station.
Then I asked about mom’s driving. And he said that if it was a concern that she could have some OT and mentioned something about Gettysburg Hospital. I asked about him signing a form so that her license would be taken away. He said that he couldn’t do that because he had no definitive information about her driving. (Please note that he did not ask me if I knew anything about her driving.) So I told him that her driving habits were erratic and that she would stop in the middle of the road and slow down to extremes going around corners. But I told him that I had nothing really definitive to give him other than these observations. Then he said that with that information he could sign the paperwork to have her license taken away.
I then asked him if he could write a prescription for a walker since she has such a hard time getting around because of her knees. He asked “doesn’t she have a walker to use in her room?” I said that there was a walker there but I believe that it was being used by mom’s room-mate, Lucy. He asked, “Isn’t she getting any PT?” (Helloooo.. didn’t I just tell him that I wasn’t getting any information from anyone and that was why I was leaving messages?) I told him that I don’t know if she is or not. He said that he would try to get her some PT. (Great, 3 weeks in the hospital and they just now notice that she has a hard time getting around.)
I asked about her discharge date and he said that it could be as early as mid week next week but (a little good news here) that it would be contingent upon her getting some placement in a home. (Yippee, I don’t have to find an interim place for her to go).
Roger and I left Blair after talking some more with Jan the administrator. I got her the room with the view of the deer and when we left there were at least 4 deer standing outside her window!!
Roger and I went for supper. I tried to call Sue but there was no answer. After dinner I tried to call Sue again without success.
At 7 PM I called to talk with mom and tell her the good news. I got the nurses station and asked to talk with mom. After quite some time (6 minutes) I hung up and called again. I was told that mom was very sleepy. And that she had been that way since Dan’s shift began (!). I asked for him to tell her it was her daughter and that she would want to talk to me. He begrudgingly said ok. 3 minutes passed. I hung up and called back. I ask the woman at the nurses station that I was calling back for Belle and asked what time the shift started..she put me on hold and I got Lucy mom’s roommate. I called back and got Dan. He said his shift started at 3 pm and she woke up a little for dinner. I told him that she has been having mini-strokes, TIA’s and is he sure that she didn’t have something like this going on. He put me on hold and came back and told me that the doctor has been called because this is like her. She is usually walking around the halls and this is out of the ordinary. I asked him the name of the doctor that was called. “I don’t know”. I told him that I wanted that doctor to call me after he saw mom. That time was 7:08
At 8:09 I called the nurses’ station and got Dan again. I asked what was the status with mom. He said that the doctor was there and was doing a consult now. That they did not know what was wrong but they were doing to do some tests blood work, CT scan and EKG. And that they were going to do those tests right now. STAT, I said? Yes, he said. I asked if the doctor was going to call me back. I heard him talk to someone else and asked if he was going to call the family. The other voice said, do they want me to call them? Yes,.. then Dan got back on the phone and said that the doctor is doing the consult (I assume that he was writing a report or orders) and that when he was done he would call me back. Right now it is 8:37 and I have not received a call back.
{How long was mom like this BEFORE the 3 o’clock started? Why did it take my phone call for them to realize that this was not normal for mom for them to call the doctor? Why did they continue to tell me that she was just too sleepy too answer the phone.. they said this at least 3 times.. Dan and Heather were the names that said this to me.}
9:41 Dan called back and said that the doctor cannot call me back right now as he got a call for an emergency. Mom is more responsive, and is heading down to CT now.
My apologies if I have misspellings or poor grammar as I have typed this extremely quickly to be able to get it on the website. Sue - I tried to call you many times yesterday - I got cut off and tried to leave messages.. Try to check your phone on occasion to see if you had any incoming phone calls.
2/24/07 Saturday. I just called the hospital. Mom is doing fine. All tests are negative. Roger and I are thinking that if it is not TIA's, then it is from her medicine.
We are heading down to York this morning to say hi and to take her clean laundry. I am gonna stop at her house and get her TV and some other stuff. We are on the road again... but today I am only riding shotgun since Roger will be at the wheel.
We got home around 6 o'clock today. We went down to see mom. We have a nice experience for a change. A nurse's aide named Nichole was in the room and in the bathroom helping mom get cleaned up. She had a smile and a very pleasant way about her. We had stopped and bought mom some depends underwear since all the underpants that we were bringing home your drenched in urine. We also brought clean clothes and Nicole was graciously routing the clean clothes as we were helping with getting something for mom to wear. Nicole took them to mom and came back stating that she got two tops and no pants.. so I gave her some gray sweat pants that I had bought for mom. Nicole took them and then said, "Well, can't use this top. It doesn't match!" Nicole was not only concerned to get mom cleaned up but she also wanted her to look nice! What a refreshing moment there in York Hospital!
Mom came out of the bathroom using a walker! Another pleasant surprise. I was thinking that someone (Dr. S?) listened to me when I asked if I could get a script for a walker. But, no, Nicole said that the walker was for someone else, Mom just started to use it on her own. (How sad that mom had to grab this on her own. I don't think that any therapy was started either since my conversation with Dr. S.)
Anyway, Mom smelled good and her hair was brushed so I showed her pictures that I took of Blair Christian home and some information about Altoona and other flyers I picked up about the area, so that she could get acquainted with the area before arriving. I also and calling her room her "apartment" so it does not sound so much like a retirement home. She seemed content with my choice of a place to stay.. but then she simply and quickly agreed with ANYTHING that I said. She was very very tired and Roger and I helped her to lay down. She quickly closed her eyes but was listening to what we were talking about. Lunch was served and instead of her going to the dining room, Nicole brought her tray back to the room with some nice things to say about mom having lunch with her family. (did I mention how nice Nicole was?)
I had typed up the information regarding Blair Christian Home for the nurse's station (for her chart) and for the SW. I wanted to provide them with all the contact information so that we can have a get her up to the home expeditiously. I also indicated that I needed the form done ASAP and sent to the Home. I left a copy with the SW as well as the nurse's station. Hopefully I will get a call Monday morning from someone at the hospital. (Does anyone out there want to place any bets on if I will get a call or not? ok ok ok, I am just being sarcastic now - but can you blame me?)
Keep in mind that mom only has about 4 front teeth and the lunch was a wonderful cold platter of a chicken breast, mixed rice and sliced apples and oranges. Hmmm, how is she going to chew this and what happened to my request upon admission for soft foods for her? So I cut up everything in very very little chunks and fed her. She was almost too tired to feed herself. She ate everything - except of course for the orange slices and apples.. (but she did have some apple bits!! Way to go, Mom!) She ate ice cream and Jell-O and milk and tea. She was really hungry. I am sure that she did not eat much supper the night before when she was so non-responsive/sleepy and since she had a whole night of CT scans etc. I wonder if she made it back for breakfast. Anyway, I am glad that she had a great lunch!
After lunch, she just picked up a magazine and sat on the bed looking at it. She had a very flat affect to her mood. It appeared like it may be from her medicine. But she was doing very very good when I was there for her Level Of Care Assessment and she was alert when the 'scene' was caused in her room with the nurse manager and the attorney. Since then she has been very different.
The doctor who was called the night before and ordered all the tests never called me back for an update. Frankly, I am not surprised anymore by that lack of response or concern for mom or me at this point. I am now just biding my time to make sure that mom is ok and that I can get her out of there and up to Blair Christian Home where there will be caring people around her and I can get her a new doctor.
We left mom and asked her if it was ok to go to her house and take some stuff out of it. She agreed that was fine - so Roger and I went to her place and got her TV and DVD to clean up to prepare to go to her new 'apartment'. I grabbed some papers hoping that I might find some information to try to figure out what she owes and what she has in assets etc. so that I can properly manage her finances to take care of her. I also took a few things that I thought I could salvage from the filth and garbage to clean up for her new place. I am thinking that she really needs to have some stuff from her home to give her some sense of ownership and home-iness in her new place. So I grabbed some of the knick-knacks and stuff and brought them home.
I left there and went to the neighbor's house to thank him for all that he did for mom. He, too, was pretty amazed that we could not get any help for any agency to get her out of there sooner than this. I let him know that mom told me that she was interested in selling her property and wanted me to ask him first. He was not interested but indicated that another neighbor might be - who happened to be an old friend of mine who lived up the road. So I went to see if Jack was home and we had a brief and happy reunion. We exchanged numbers and he offered to help. (When I lived there, Jack helped me all the time. I can see that he has not changed as we both got a bit older and grayer!)
On the way home, I started to go through some paperwork and yet again, the gates of Hell reopened. When she subdivided her property to sell a part to her neighbor, there appears that there might be some error when the deeds were recorded. And I am getting the feeling, since then, that mom has been paying the taxes for both properties. So now I have to see if the deeds are clear (I am getting that done now) but I also have to work on figuring out the tax records to make sure that is right AND to make sure that the deeds have been recorded properly. I am pretty sure that they are NOT recorded properly. I am really thankful that my local attorney told me to hire a York attorney with all this. I looks like I am really gonna need it.
2/25/2007 ~ Sunday - Thankfully, I had some time to sleep in today. I got up around 7 and Roger and I ran some errands. I got home and started to get out the knick-knacks and painstakingly cleaned and disinfected them. I also took a little fleece throw that she was using for a blanket and threw that in the washer. I was amazed how what she was using for blankets that I found on the urine soaked sofa. A little fleece throw, a small down comforter that had no down left in it, a fleece one piece jump suit (that I got her for Christmas) and she was sleeping on an afghan. All in front of a space heater. I am now positive that she would not be alive today through that cold snap that we had. and frankly I am amazed that she can live through the filth in her living conditions. The sofa and chair are urine soaked, the refrigerator was so filthy and not at the right temperature. She has a strong constitution, that is for sure.
Time for me to voice some thoughts, concerns and to vent awhile:
I find it amazing that the government agencies that were created to protect our senior citizens have warped their mission to such an extent that they will allow a senior to live in such condition; that they will ignore the requests of family members for help ~ correct that.. the cries for help; that they have taken their mission to such extremes as to almost demonize those who are also trying to help a senior family member. The fact that my mother was allowed to return to these conditions after request after request to help us get her out is deplorable. We were told that they could do nothing unless mom was in danger of hurting herself. Back at that time (when she had her cancer surgery) we could not see the difference between 'harming herself' and ignoring such an acute medical condition and to ignore it till she was almost dead. It makes no sense to me at all. Perhaps this is how far our civilization has come. At that time I was so frustrated that after exhausting all the avenues that I could find, I finally wrote a letter to the Patriot News about this.
And now this situation at York Hospital. When I call, I am asked who I am before they transfer me to mom. (This only started after the melodrama with the attorney) I get no phone calls from the doctors... except of course that one mentioned previously. I get no updates; no direction; no help; no understanding. I am concerned over mom's discharge that there will yet be another 'scene' played out. So concerned that I called Huntingdon AAA to find out if there might be a problem or if there is some procedure or protocol in taking mom from the hospital, across county lines and into a retirement home. Thank God, I called Huntingdon AAA because they said that indeed there was! So I faxed a request to the SW to find out what I should expect and what needed to be done. I asked for the response in writing. I will not take anything verbally again. I wonder why I am not informed of the procedures by someone in York.
Well, I am going to try to organize mom's paperwork now to see if I can piece together the deed situation. I will try to write more today if something else rears it's ugly head. I would prefer to write a happy update, but I am jaded at this juncture of this journey.
Well, I went to Wal-mart and bought mom a bunch of clothes for her discharge date. Yes, I already bought her a bunch of clothes for the hospital (in the psych ward they are allowed to wear regular clothes) but most of the clothes that I bought are sweat pants and sweat shirts, you know, just comfy stuff. So I bought her some nice slacks and pretty blouses, some jammies and a bath robe, some nice body lotion and a bunch of other stuff. That was fun. I saved the receipts just in case I got the wrong sizes. I am not really that good at estimating sizes!.
And I just got off the phone with mom. She sounds much more alert than she did yesterday, but she still has that flat affect, but she definitely sounds a lot better! I talked with Sue and we are planning on her coming in - MAYBE on Wednesday, if it looks like that I can get mom placed by Friday. If that happens, then Sue and I will pick up mom and bring her up to Blair Christian Home together. Although, this plan might change. I will see how it goes. Sue has offered to stay for awhile after mom's arrival to help her and the home get acclimated to each other. This is a huge burden off me and I really have to thank Sue for this generous offer. It will help mom tremendously in starting out right. Of course I have to say that I have the best sister and the best hubby in the whole world.
Sorry, but I have to vent a bit more.
I have to say that the Huntingdon AAA has been wonderful and extremely helpful. My venting toward a government agency is basically toward York AAA. Let's go back to when my mom had her cancer diagnosis. After it was all said and done, we (my sister and I) could not get any help to keep her from returning to her house. Lord knows we tried. So after my letter to the editor, we felt that there was not other avenue. On occasion Sue or I would try again with no success. This year though, the house was just too much for us to stomach and we started once again. Of interest, Sue contacted the Salvation Army who seemed to lend a concerned ear. I called the Huntingdon AAA and also started to get some ideas. And then the statement was made after they heard that I wanted to help my mom in her house situation (and I am not sure if it came from the Huntingdon AAA, the Fairview Township Police or the local State Police department here in Huntingdon). The statement was: " Well, just call the local Office of Aging, they have lists of organizations/agencies and information on who you can contact to get her house fixed up or how to help you to get your mom into a better place." The look on my face was pure shock. I clarified the statement and yes, he did say the Office on Aging!
Well, if they have a list of programs, services, etc. why wasn't this information offered to us instead of giving us the statement that mom is capable of making her own decisions and if she wants to live like that, then that is her choice. Hmm, I am thinking that if we knew that there was a way that we could get her help either to keep the house up to code or to assist us to help her into a place that is clean, warm, with running water ~ we would have done it!! Why did we have to start phone calls looking for help and end up at the Salvation Army and the local newspapers? If she was indeed capable of making decisions, she at least needed help in making he proper decisions. Not knowing that she needed medical help when she had to lay on a garbage bag to keep her blood from seeping into her mattress and living in a home filled with mouse feces on the counter and in the refrigerator with no hot water and no working drains is not a very sound decision.
My point being, is that I just wanted to say the perhaps it is not all the government agencies "serving" our senior citizens that are run poorly. I have found help for mom through the very agency that has hindered me and Sue for so long. I only hope that this remains true.
2/26/07 - Monday - I believe that I am going to rename this page on my website. It should be called: "As the Gates from Hell Reopen". So much has happened today that I could not possible write it all in this diary.
It started out with some phones with the SW and she was working hard to get the paperwork to the BCH. She faxed me the form that the home needed and to my surprise, this was the very form that was shown to me from the woman that did the level of care assessment last week! When I called the woman from York AAA the following day for a copy of the form, I did not receive a copy nor a return phone call. So I could have had this form the entire time to help mom get a place to live.
Anyway, I called BCH to see if I could come up to fill out the forms and pay the entry fee but the lady was really booked and we made an appointment for tomorrow at 10 AM. Things looked promising.
After my conversation with Dr. S last week, I kinda wanted to talk with Dr. R to see how mom was from his standpoint. I called and found out that he would probably be in later today. I asked if he could call me when he got in.
Later today I got a phone call from York AAA. All she said was that she had a simple question, She needed to know my middle initial. H, I answered. She thanked me and started to hang up. Hold on! I wanted to know why. From that point the conversation turned into a shouting match. It appeared to be a lot of misunderstanding and I stated that we needed more communication. WELL, that didn't sit well with her and the shouting continued. To make a long story short, she was unaware that mom was moving to Blair County! She wanted the guardianship hearing in York county. She mumbled something about 20 days until the hearing once the paperwork is filed. It was decided (I think - I could have misunderstood yet again... Seems like I must be the dumbest person on earth that I don't understand the English language or maybe I just need hearing aids! Just joking!) that I should file for the guardianship in Blair county.
Anyway, after that ordeal, I really wanted to talk with Dr. R to see if he felt the same as Dr. S - meaning that mom could be discharged this week. This became more urgent to me after this unsettling phone call. I finally tracked him down and he was very very nice. We discussed mom's blood pressure, and her grogginess. I told him that she was pretty good on the day of the assessment but after that, she seemed like her drugs were really affecting her. Long story short, he said that he could discharge her this week and he would see if Dr. S would discharge her too. He said that there didn't seem to be any reason, from looking at her chart, that Dr. S would not be able to discharge her. Sigh, I was pretty happy. I explained that I was trying to coordinate getting mom into a place up here and that I lived about 3 hours away.
All is well, until I get a call from the SW. She gave me updates that she has been faxing stuff up to BCH and she raved about the facility. It was perfect for mom. It had resident doctor and psychiatrist etc. etc. She said that I was a person that got things done. It seemed like everything was falling into place. Then her voice dropped. She said that there was going to be a hearing tomorrow for extend mom's involuntary committal. WHAT? I tried to get some clarification on why and what if's - but I am just really confused. She said that I didn't have to be there. I mentioned something about the woman from York AAA not being very happy with me and she dug a little bit for more information. I just said that there was a lot of misunderstanding and Sue was rather upset with me. I indicated to the SW that I would be at the hearing. She indicated that it was not necessary. I insisted that after the discussion with York AAA that I needed to be there. She indicated that if both doctors agreed that she cold be discharged that the hearing could be cancelled.
I called BCH to cancel my appoint tomorrow at 10 am and asked a time frame on approval etc. She said that without the paperwork being completed, they couldn't do anything. Catch 22 again! So I gotta be at this hearing (at least I feel that I must be at this hearing) and by doing so, I am missing my appointment to do the paperwork for mom and therefore she won't be able to leave as soon as I was hoping.
I tried to call Dr. S to see if I could get an update to that I wouldn't have to drive down tomorrow and save therefore be able to do the paperwork for my mom. The nurse's station said that they could not give me his number. They could call leave a message on her chart for him to see tomorrow. No, I told them that that was too late. I needed to talk with him now. They could call him and leave a message but not if he wasn't on call. No matter what I try to do I am damned one way or another.
So I left a message for the SW that I will be up before 4:30 AM and on the road. She can call me as early as she wants to. In fact, I told her answering machine that I have been sleeping with my cell phone.
After today and being made like I was the bad guy yet again, I finally was able to cry. It was not a good cry for what has happened to my mom and for the changes that occur in this life, but a cry of frustration and of being "put down" so hard that I didn't feel human anymore. I am so confused as to what the reasons are for the actions taking place. The goal is to get my mother help, to have her live in a nice place... and if I can be so egotistical: to have her live close to me in a place that is so beautiful so that we can do things together as a family.
My sister is coming in tomorrow from Indiana. We both hope that this is the week that mom can get out of the hospital.
Today's note is really the Readers' Digest version of what went on. I cannot bear to think about what happened anymore.
2/27/07 - Tuesday. It is 425 AM. I am ready to leave the house to go see mom and make sure that she has a voice at this hearing. It sounds like it is raining outside and it is 32 degrees. Brrr. Sue is coming in today. It will be nice to have the whole family together tonight.
4/407 - Yes, the diary stopped abruptly. Mom came home finally. She is at Blair Christian Home in Altoona and doing better that I have ever hoped for. I am now her POA which is a lot of work, but well worth it. I sold her car and the house is under contract...kinda. That is another long story. I am taking Amy to the vet tomorrow. She is losing weight and I am afraid that she may be having some kidney problems. My office is closed on Friday and I am really looking forward to having a day off. I haven't had time to do anything just for Lynda for quite some time..but it does not look like that will really take place this weekend either. I think that I will just have to take a day or two of vacation and do stuff for me. I had my first harp lesson and that (along with Roger) seem to be holding me together. You cannot play the harp fast and I find that practicing is really relaxing. My left hand still wants to do what my right hand is doing but ..it is getting more independent. I usually stay up awhile after Roger hits the sack in the evening and I got a camera for my computer. Yikes! Pretty scary. But it will be nice to IM with my sister and see each other.. or maybe not.. I look like a possum right now.. and you know what they look like. Thanks to Lisa for your nice comments. And my heart is with C2 and Princess. Gonna hit the hay myself.